Forcing Change Vs. Allowing Change

by Dalva Church

Anything created in the world of form and matter is subject to the laws of duality, and to the law that, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Anything planned with the mind, born out of reaction to any circumstance, or created with a temporal goal, is subject to this law.

For this law to be bypassed, a person must rise above the level of duality to the level of spirit. Anything born of spirit is not subject to duality. In spirit, there is no up or down, no male or female, no right or wrong. From the heart, rather than the mind, comes this level. No laws are necessary here, no restrictions, no prohibitions.

Think of it: when you love someone, do you need to be told to care for them, to tell them the truth, to refrain from harming them? Does a loving mother or father need to be told to comfort their child?

Self-improvement at this level is doomed to fail. External changes that attempt to make you better or more perfect, or life better and more perfect, are subject to duality and backlash. The dieter who continues to get thinner until they are anorexic, or gain all the weight back, the ex-smoker who is always having “just one more” cigarette, or who harshly judges anyone else who smokes, and so on, are examples of backlash.

Internal changes do not have this effect. These are changes from the heart, not changes that you have externally imposed on yourself. Weight loss, or smoking cessation comes, not from diet and restriction, but from letting go naturally of old habits that are no longer needed, because you have had an internal healing that comes from self-love and acceptance.

Take some time today to love yourself. Look in the mirror and say “I LOVE YOU”. Do something caring for yourself.

When you approach change in this way, you can let go of addictions, harmful behavior, bad habits, and unnecessary thoughts without a feeling of superiority or of self-deprivation. Instead, inner healing goes outward into the ability to freely choose, and into compassion for all those caught in cycles of self-harm.


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