People are encouraged to use faux power to distract them from the fact that they have real power. They use anger and pouting because they believe it will accomplish what they want. It rarely does. They use hateful thoughts and judgment, which make them feel powerful, but in fact weaken them. They exercise petty control over friends, family members, employees, subordinates, etc., because they feel they are above those they control. This gives them a feeling of status and safety. However, those control mechanisms make them slaves to unhappiness. There is inevitable backlash as all those angry thoughts and judgments separate them from other people. This kind of behavior also creates stress-related illnesses. Not to mention, the fact that it is keeping them away from the knowledge of their true power. People do all of these things to feel powerful and in control of their lives.
All of what people believe gives them power and control is a shadow-show. Just by remembering that we are in complete control of ourselves, and of our experience of life, our power is complete. If everyone remembered this, there would instantly cease to be a need for war, hatred, disease, poverty, and even governments.
Taking Back the Power
When we take responsibility for our lives and ourselves, we begin to bring the power back to us. If we believe that other people make us happy, naturally we will want to control them. When we realize that happiness can only come from within, then there is no reason to control others. When we stop believing that anything at all outside ourselves can bring us joy, then the need to control anything stops. Instead, we can look at how to control ourselves and our experiences.
This is where the magic happens. Once you begin working on raising your own experience to a place of love, peace, and joy, which you can do anytime, then you begin to get in sync with happenings around you that are full of love, peace, and joy.
There are many effective roads to do this. Visualization, as long as what you are picturing brings you real bliss, can work. Tapping and EFT can aid you in letting go of harmful emotions. Recognizing and actively changing negative thoughts can also help. Being present in the moment can aid you in obtaining peace. Meditation is an oldie, but a goodie! Many people use a combination of these.
Does all of this mean you will never feel sad or upset? Of course not. It’s only human. What you do with those feelings is entirely up to you. Remember, they are your feelings, so blaming or punishing someone else for them won’t bring you peace. Pushing them down or ignoring them won’t work either. They’ll just come back later.
Steps to Process a Feeling
It takes 90 seconds to process a feeling. That’s it! If you can stand it for that long, you can do this.
- Let yourself feel what you feel. In fact, focus on the feeling and let it intensify.
- Name it. There are lists of feelings you can find on the internet if you aren’t good at this yet. If it’s more than one feeling, name them all. Often times things like guilt, sadness, pain, and anger all go together.
- Ask yourself for the reason you feel this way. Even if it seems silly, that’s ok. It doesn’t need to make sense. You are just acknowledging it.
- Ask yourself if there is any practical use for the information your feelings are giving you.
Often, we are angry because we aren’t asking for help, or maybe people aren’t hearing us. That situation is our responsibility. Maybe there is a trauma from the past we need to resolve.
- Take a deep breath and let the feeling go. EFT or faster EFT is helpful here.
- Take one action to resolve the situation. Stop doing something or start doing something. Make your voice heard.
Take back your power.
If you need help n working with your feelings, check out our Life Coaching