There are some common traps that cause us to become stuck in life. Think of them as energetic sinkholes. They cause us to keep repeating the same self-destructive patterns over and over—even when we don’t want to. Here are some of them, and some tips on how to break free.
- I have to follow the rules.
Most of us get caught up in this trap sometimes. We keep forgetting that the rules are not something that we are helpless to resist. They are not divinely ordained. Most of the rules that we believe we have to follow were created by other people—people who are flawed, just like us. When you find yourself getting stuck in this kind of thinking, stop and ask yourself why you have to follow those particular rules. Who says? Are these rules beneficial or harmful? Do I agree with them? Are they making my life better?
- Energetic Patterns from our families.
We can be energetically shaped by our family before we are even born. Geneticists and behavioralists are now proving that to be true. The attitudes, thoughts, feelings, traumas, and beliefs of our ancestors mark us. We then get caught in playing out their patterns, and that draws to us others who will fit in to the patterns we were born into. These patterns are like a spider web—sticky, trapping ourselves and others. We create stories about ourselves and the world based on the patterns, and those stories keep us stuck.
Often we don’t even see how we are stuck in those patterns, because they feel normal to us. We are like a fish in water—we don’t even notice.
Try asking others how you are like members of your family. The answers may surprise you. Get someone to tell you family stories from past generations and look for patterns. Then consider of elements of your life fit those patterns too.
- It’s my belief
Beliefs are a form of creation. They also resemble spider webs. Beliefs pull others in, locking them in a hard-to-escape place and drawing off their lifeblood. When you have a belief, you cannot see others in any other way than as who they appear through the lens of your belief. If you have a religious belief, then everyone who does not believe as you do is literally an unbeliever—and they need to be either punished or converted. How can you see anyone as a unique individual with that baggage in the way?
Beliefs drain away your energy too. Instead of using your creative power to make something new and amazing, your energy is all going to maintain someone else’s institutionalized system. They blind you to reality. They keep you from experiencing wonder and awe.
Letting go of the need to know, and allowing your mind to truly remain open is a process that will set you free.
The playwright John Patrick Shanley said,
“Why do you have to know what you don’t know?”
His movie and play called Doubt, explore this question. Doubt is a more tender and accepting state of being than is certainty.
Ask yourself how you can really know what you believe. To live and experience is far more powerful and creative than believing.
For all of these traps, there is a practice to release those sticky spider webs, letting ourselves and everyone else free.
Call forth the true self. Your true self has a voice that creates a unique and wonderful story for you that is not bound by rules, family patterns, or beliefs. Your true self vibrates with an energy that releases you from those traps. It dissipates the negative patterns that keep you from being the creator of your own life.
Once you begin questioning these traps, you begin to see where you have been limiting yourself. Your true self is limitless.
Hearing from the self that is beyond the programming of the world begins with placing your attention on your heart. Close your eyes, and take all of your attention and place it in your heart. Feel yourself sinking down into center of your being. See what arises there. True you does not speak in words. Feel deeply. What sensations arise? What gentle tuggings do you experience? What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Music, colors, and feelings may also arise.
Revisit this state of being several times each day. Then, start paying attention to people, places, things, activities that resonate with that state. Begin hearing from True You.
For help with getting unstuck, check out our Life Coaching Services